things lately...

ever since i reactivated my facebook, i haven't blogged much at all. pretty much zero. i kinda miss it you know? getting to write down what i'm thinking at the moment never really imagining anyone reading it; but the idea of your thoughts being out in the open able for anyone to read (even though they probably wont) is kind of refreshing. i tend to keep my thoughts locked tightly in my head and only tell people when they ask. so this is like the complete opposite.
sometimes i feel like i'm failing at life. honestly. i just was thinking that to myself about 2 seconds ago. i am putting about zero effort into school right now, and the only reason is because i don't want to. i have no idea what i'm going to do for my major, and i swear if i hear one more person say to me "oh don't worry. that's totally ok. its better to find what you like to do then do something find out you hate it and your stuck. its completely normal" i will scream. i think that conversation is programmed into every single college persons head just to try to make those of us who are completely lost feel a little better. well it doesn't. its about time i figure out what the heck i'm doing. just an all over sense of failing is what i'm feeling right about now as the semester dwindles to a close. i look back and realize how many mistakes i made and the millions of things i could have done better. but i'm so past caring at this moment. and the only thing i want more than this semester to be over is to be home, with my family, in my house. i close my eyes and picture my cozy little home and spending hours with my family and my heart longs for it. i want to jump up from my chair, run to my car and drive the 8 hours until i'm back home in glendora and i'm away from this place and this semester. alas...i cant. sad right??
but, even though i wont be going home for spring, i know it will be great staying in provo. it makes me a little bit sad (actually more than a little), but really excited. and eventually (or 15 days) this semester will be over, and whats done is done. it will be a whole new experience being here for summer, living on my own not going to school, and i'm looking forward to it. whatever the summer has to offer, i am ready for it.

Viva Las Vegas!

so my aunt was getting married, and my family was going to Vegas to see the wedding and spend some time with all my family that lives in Vegas. So since Vegas isn't terribly far from Provo, I decided to go too! at first it was going to be a surprise, then my dad didn't know it was supposed to be a surprise so her told everyone, but then I forgot I had work so I had to find someone to cover my shift, so then I decided to surprise everyone again by pretending I couldn't go, but everyone knew...haha. I went with Alison and Krista (Krista is my new awesome friend from my complex, I seriously love her!!! she is awesome and I’m so glad I invited her to movie night one random day :) coolest friend ever!) we got to Vegas around 7 on Friday night, and did all the fun stuff at the strip. It was seriously a blast!! Don’t worry, we didn't do anything bad folks :) Saturday was the wedding, and besides that it was a pretty relaxing day. Then on Sunday we woke up for the breakfast, I said bye to my family, and we just sat around for a little in the hotel room relaxing and getting our stuff together…and jumping on the bed. Then we went to the temple, walked around, took some pictures, and then headed home. On the way we saw this awesome air show with fighter jets (possibly the blue angels??) and so we pulled over and looked at it for a while. We got home around 6 and so still had time to go to ward prayer :) so it wasn't a very long trip, but besides a few little mishaps it was awesome!!! I wish I could relive it again :) it was soooooo great to see my family again, and I cant wait for Christmas.

happy list

i havent done my thankful list in a little while, which isnt good. so here we go again. except im going to switch it up a bit, im calling it my happy list. things that have made me happy. these are the same things that i am grateful for, but for some reason its just a little more meaningful for me to say they are things that make me happy instead of things i am grateful for. "men are that they might have joy" right??

making new friends
wearing my new coat (which by the way, i really dont like the word coat. i have absolutly no idea why, it just is an annoying word to me.)
cold weather
playing games
a bike that no longer squeaks insanely loud
going to church
having CES firesides at the marriot. i get to be in the same room as apostles of the Lord
phonecalls to my family
sleeping in
taking naps
redbox

service project

so Saturday morning we had a service project. i love sleeping in more than anything, so when my alarm went off at 8 o'clock in the morning on a cold Saturday, it was almost impossible to wake up. but i had already signed up, and i knew i needed to go. so i forced myself to get up, and i went. the project was doing little things around this kids wilderness trail that helps build certain skills. so the 3 of us volunteered to paint the alphabet on this caterpillar painted on the ground. we grabbed a roller, yellow paint, and the package of stencils. welllll....the stencils were way to small, so the roller was huge, and it didn't work at all. but the time we got all of the stencils ready and started painting half of the group had left already to another trail and took all the paint brushes with them. so we had to finger paint, all 26 letters of the alphabet on ice cold cement. my hands literally felt like they had needles stabbing them, and i got paint everywhere. somehow no one else got paint anywhere but thier hands, but i managed to get it on my jacket, jeans, and face. but all in all it was a good service project, and we had a fun time :)

Halloween!!

me and sammi!!

with brian, our awesome home teacher. a gift from God apparently :)

we love Ani

i saw her pose and said "oh my gosh!!! MIRANDA SINGS!" and so looked at me and said "you know her?!" and so we had to take a picture together. even though we dont know eachother...

me and some awesome girls from my ward :)


so i was a rocker this Halloween. it was fun because its totally not me, so i got to channel the inner bad girl hahahahaha. and my roommate was a zebra, i helped paint her. together we took forever for our darn costumes, but it was fun :)