i haven't written a blog post in years. What makes me break my vow of silence you may ask? Pornography. and how much i absolutely loath it.
A couple days ago my sister and i went to a Utah Coalition Against Pornography conference. it was really great, and just fueled my passion to rid our world of this awful drug. but there is a certain perspective on this multi faceted issue that i am most passionate about: women's rights.
during the conference, at one point i was thinking to myself, "well i know why i hate porn (i have very personal reasons for hating it so much), but what makes it so awful for society?" (Because it is. it really is just awful for society. go look here )
As ally and i were walking from a class, i just had this thought really hit my heart, its one of those things i hear all the time, certainly not a new thought, nor a clever thought that will change the world, most certainly not. but there is always that moment when a certain bit of knowledge travels from your brain to your heart, and that is the moment when you know you have finally learned. warning: nothing i say from here on has never been said before. nothing i say will make a big difference in anything. but, alas, i need to say it. even if its jumbled and missing much of what i actually want to say, it must be said.
the thought was this: "the sexualization in our society is making women objects." and it just infuriated me. we live in a society where sex is a money making strategy. it is used to make millions of dollars for everything from pornography to clothing to movies to fragrances. i mean have you seen perfume commercials lately?! ill tell you one thing, they certainly aren't using the product to sell the product, they are using sex. because everything has become hyper sexualized, women are no longer people, but objects. objects that need to dress well, have great bodies, be gorgeous, and do what they are told to do to be profitable and be appealing.
ok, don't get me wrong, i am fully aware that not everyone believes this lie, and i am fully aware that there are some great counter movements and amazing advocates against this way of thinking, and we have come a long way in certain aspects. but tell me one popular movie lately that doesn't include a prominent sex scene, and then think of that scene, or what led up to that scene and then tell me what that women looks like, how was she depicted. describe some of the things that make that scene what it is. lets look at the advertisements for popular clothing companies and merchandise brands. tell me what that women looks like. all of these things sexualize women so that we no longer look at them as women, but as parts. she become a person who looks really gorgeous, or has amazing _____ .
the focus isn't on how kind, or hilarious, or smart a women is. we don't think about the personalities behind the body, what makes a human being a unique person. what is their favorite type of movie, the last book they read, what makes them happy or sad, who is their best friend, or countless other things. we focus on images. do i look pretty today? does this picture on Intsagram show off my outfit well enough? can you tell i've lost 10 pounds, let me stand a different way so you can tell. because our society focuses on sex and not love we focus on images. pornography has told society that sex sells, and it sells big time. pornography has told us that certain things are "sexy" and that sexy is the most desirable quality a woman can have.
the ultimate expression of love has become a cheap meaningless expression of nothing. women are not images. and love is so much more than disgusting misogynistic images and videos, where women become nothing more than things to be manipulated and used. objects. intimacy is mental, physical and spiritual, and that has been so ruined. our society has lost what it means to be valued, to be special and to be truly loved.
i for one am not an object. i know i'm not the most gorgeous person, and that people don't spend countless hours fantasizing about my great looks. and i'm definitely ok with that. because i want to be noticed for qualities not images. thats not to say beauty is a bad thing, its not! but agonizing and worrying about how we look so that we can live up to a certain standard of beauty or fashion or sexiness is just ridiculous. pornography is no longer contained in dirty magazines, or a small section of the video store stuck in a closet behind beaded curtains (or is that just how stupid movies portrayed those sections) porn is all over. it is seeping into mainstream culture. its leaked into blockbuster movies, social media, advertisements...everything! and as it starts spreading, the "real" stuff just gets worse and worse. children and women being victimized and and spread all over the internet. violence against the victims becoming something desired and paid for. horrible, awful acts becoming something sold as a commodity. and as the targeted audience gets more and more addicted, more and more is expected. so the line just gets pushed more and more. and as the line gets pushed on the bad side, the line on the "good" side does too. oh but wait, i forgot, its art right? news flash. pornography is taking over. and as it does, women are loosing. don't give up the fight. look around and see what is happening. we are more than porn.